Engines of Change?

I can neither confirm nor deny the rumour that the our beloved club has been rummaging around scrapyards, buying derelict engines in the hopes that one of them might be the one to be installed in a rocket that will eventually take us to the moon. These are filthy lies… maybe. I can’t confirm or deny that either.

And it’s just a silly thing to say, as well. No car engine could take you to the moon! No normal car engine, that is. I went and asked around among the best car mechanics Bendigo has to offer, and I got the absolute confirmation from every single one of them instantly that driving to the moon wouldn’t work, for a number of reasons. There are no roads, for one thing. You can’t drive in a place where there aren’t any roads.

Also, as I have been informed several times (I did want to make sure I was getting solid information), a car doesn’t simply ‘go’ via the push produced by the exhaust, like a jet booster. No, no…the wheels need to be turned by multiple mechanisms, and then they need ‘traction’ of some sort. Golly, I can’t be expected to keep up with all this technical talk, but what I gathered is that even if your wheels were turning in space, you wouldn’t really go anywhere. Whose idea was it to design a car that needs roads to get anywhere, instead of being able to move under its own power in any direction? How silly!

I need to talk to some mechanics about this, because that seems like a serious design flaw. Surely there are some highly-qualified car servicing shops near Bendigo and the surrounding areas who know how to make just a few tweaks. Then, we might just be able to drive to the moon after all.

Bah, everything is so much more complicated after we went public!

-Brother Lagann