Faux Boho

I was a bit worried about grandma having a conniption about my new DIY haircut, given my mum’s response, but she was actually really complimentary about it. In fact, she was quite encouraging, saying that I should keep practising and even that she’d buy me some good scissors. She understands me in a way that mum doesn’t, at least about some things.

Mum really wants me to go to her salon and get the cut ‘touched up’ – in other words, completely redone. Yeah, because fancy Melbourne CBD hairdressers will totally get the vibe I was going for. They totally won’t send me out into the world looking just like my mum: perfectly blow-waved, like I’ve just stepped out of a commercial for hair care products. In case you can’t tell, I’m being facetious.

See, mum likes to think of herself as ‘bohemian’, but she’s completely bourgeois. Grandma, on the other hand, is the real deal: she travelled the world in the early 70s, studying yoga in Kashmir and living in a yurt in Mongolia and things like that. I assume that mum picked up some of her flower-child aesthetic from grandma, while simultaneously rebelling by getting an MBA and working in high-powered finance.

Anyway, I doubt there are any pro hairdressers who’d give me the cut I want anywhere in Melbourne. Hair salon services tend to be based on what’s trendy, regardless of how ‘fashion forward’ they claim to be. That’s why I prefer to cut my hair myself, even if it does turn out to be a bit of a hack job. It seems that grandma understands this, even though she herself has a twice-monthly appointment at her favoured upmarket salon in St James Place.

She tells me I’m being too harsh on mum, and that our closeness obscures the fact of how similar we are. That’s something we’ll have to agree to disagree on – it’s so obvious that I’m much more like grandma than mum.