Human Budget Crisis

Human Classes are certainly getting crowded. It used to just be a cluster of wizards who never really talked to anyone else, an alien, an android and the occasional inter-dimensional monster of some variety, but now it’s just exploded. There’s that jolly nice fellow from Atlantis, the new time traveller who thinks he’s better than everyone else by virtue of coming from the past (when things were better!) and just today we had a vampire and a ghost show up together, and let me say that I admire them breaking down societal barriers. The ghost is literally never going to be able to use any of this, but it’s a nice thought.

For example, I can’t see a ghost having much use for a custom bathroom designer, Melbourne born and bred though he may have been in his former life. I myself don’t really use bathrooms, given that my species releases caloric energy as volcanic spores, but it’s a lovely thing to talk about when you’re at work and trying to convince everyone that you have a normal human home life going on. Quite the slam dunk comment, because for bathroom and kitchen renovations you need a home; it’s a very basic starting point. A home is a very human thing to have, and just in general, there are loads of people at work who just love to talk about their bathrooms and kitchens, and sometimes laundries if you make the mistake of getting into a conversation with Dana.

Seriously, that lady is laundry mad, but never seems to do anything about it because she’s a compulsive spender. I’ll be there with her in the lunchroom, she’s be lamenting since she moved to Melbourne, laundry renovations have fallen to the bottom of her budgeting priorities, and then she’ll take a bite out of her $9 Caesar salad wrap and a sip from her $6 extra-large hazelnut mocha-latte.

Good grief, Dana. Just make your own sandwiches. I photosynthesise in place of normal human food, and even I know that.

-Kalkus