Roundabouts, Please?

At long last, they’re fixing the road system near where I live. Got a survey in the post this morning that asked me how I feel about installing more roundabouts in the nearest town centre, and maybe some zebra crossings at certain points. Of course, I am ALL for this, all the way, no questions asked. 

Just last night I was driving home from hunting harpies, and it was a bumper crop so the boot of my car was stuffed with harpy wings. Feathers piled up to the roof, so I couldn’t see a thing, and I nearly ended up driving straight into someone turning right across the intersection because they were in my blind spot. So yeah, please shell out some cash for a traffic engineer consultant. Melbourne needs more folks doing that job who have actually lived in Melbourne, and thus know what it’s like to travel on our roads. Although to be honest, if I ever had half an hour to sit down with a traffic management plan…person, I’d have a serious discussion with them regarding trams, and the role of trams in our delicate traffic system. Namely, we should get rid of them.

They worked in 1920, when there weren’t as many cars on the road, but we now live in a more enlightened age with a million cars on the road, and now there are only two options: give trams more power and efficiency, or get rid of them. Either or.

Last time I was on a tram it had an accident with a truck, had to slow several times because people were cutting in front of it, and the carriage was attacked by a swarm of magically enhanced hornets that only I could see. I’m there trying to subtly swap them and not get stung, and everyone around me is thinking I’m nuts. Had to happen in rush hour as well.

So yeah. If there’s a qualified traffic impact assessment professional in Melbourne who can come and make all of these problems go away, I’d be thrilled. But a few more roundabouts is a good start.

-Chardonnay