Sewer Crossed

I met Julia on a night when the stars were brightest, and that’s how I knew we would be together forever. It was at the local golf club for the rich and famous, over dinner on the night of a masked dance party. We hit our relationship off with a dance and sparks flew between us, but we knew it was destined for disaster. I do not care, for we will get through anything together.

The only problem is that our families hate each other. We have wanted to spend time together, but if the Catapult family saw me with Julia, they would have my family kicked out of the golf club. Likewise, if my family, the Monologues, were to spot Julia, her family name would be disgraced.

We have done the most reasonable thing, given the situation. We have agreed to meet beneath the streets, amongst every blocked sewer in Melbourne. Well, not every blocked sewer in Melbourne. Just in the sewer system in general. It’s kind of gross but I don’t have any other solution. Our families would never go down there, even if they knew that’s what we were doing. And we’re always able to have showered before heading back into the golf club. I’ve bribed everyone along the way to say nothing about the smell.

While we’re down there, I’m able to help the city as well. I bring my mobile phone and take note of any necessary sewer repair. Melbourne officials then get a text from me about them, and it helps the city continue running smoothly. I just see it as doing my goodwill for the city, while meeting the love of my life. No need to thank me with a parade or anything.

I do wonder how long we can keep this up, though. I mean, I intend to marry Julia, and we can’t exactly start a family down in the sewers. We’ll have to come out about our affair sewer or later. I mean sooner or later. Preferably sooner. I’d like to announce our love publically, but I’d also like to not get shot. It’s a bit of a predicament. 

– Romero Monologue