You know when people say ‘sure’, and they actually mean ‘oh gosh, please no, anything but that’? Yeah, that’s been going around a lot lately. People keep asking me for things, and I’m such a chronic people-pleaser that I simply can’t help but say yes. I don’t actually say yes, to be fair. I say ‘sure’, which doesn’t actually mean ‘yes’ at all. You’d think people would realise, but nope… so selfish.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure I just signed up to sell roof racks and bars door-to-door, and I think it’s a scam. Not the roof racks and bars, mind you; those are fine. No, it’s just the business model that seems a little bit crooked. I’m supposed to go to a construction site, or find some tradespeople – you know, the types of people who might be interested in this type of thing- and get them to buy our amazing, wonderful roof racks and bars that we’re not really selling. We actually get them from some other company.
What I appear to be doing is secretly signing these people up to a subscription service that is not-so-clearly noted in the fine print, where they agree to receive a shipment of roof racks and bars every single month. It’s called the ‘Roof Racks and Bars Crate’, and sometimes they’d get a fun add-on like extra screws or an ‘I Love Roof Racks and Bars’ t-shirt, and… oh boy. I need to get myself out of this. Why did I even sign up?
This is clearly, clearly a gigantic scam. If people need racks and whatever else I’m sure they’ll just buy them. There are reliable providers of toolboxes and service bodies Melbourne wide, and if people need one of those they just buy one – emphasis on one, and not in the form of a monthly crate.
That’s the last time I talk to anyone at a convention. It’ll all just end with me saying ‘sure’ to everything, signing myself up to do this kind of thing, and then… tears. That’s how it ends: in tears.
-Jayson, Jay’s son.