Welcome Home Surprise

‘Have you seen this?’ my wife sighed as I walked through the door.

‘Hi, honey,’ I grinned at her. ‘Yeah, great day at work. Me and Jimmy finally managed to land that Nielson contract–’

She rolled her eyes, but let a slight smile slip through.

‘Hi,’ she said begrudgingly.

‘Hi!’ I smiled back, walking over to kiss her. ‘Now what have I definitely not seen?’

She let out another sigh and walked up the hallway, stopping at the bathroom door and gesturing for me to take a look. Curious, I poked my head in.

‘Did we plan on making any bath modifications?’ I asked, eyebrow raised.

‘Not that I was aware.’

‘Interesting,’ I nodded. I turned and leant back into the hallway.


My father, eternally bath-robed, appeared from the kitchen, holding a chicken leg aloft like he was a medieval baron.

‘What’re you yelling about?’ he growled. ‘I’m only half-deaf, y’know.’

‘Why is there a contractor in our bathroom making modifications to our bath?’

‘Ah,’ he mumbled, mouth full of chicken. ‘You noticed that then?’

‘There’s a hole in the side of our tub, Frank,’ my wife glared.

‘It’s not a hole,’ he said, rolling his eyes. ‘It’s a… removal of an obstruction.’

My wife’s eyes narrowed, in a way that made me scared for my father. At least she wasn’t looking at me like that.

She twisted to glare at me, and I felt my heart briefly stop.

‘Look,’ I stammered, shooting her a reassuring smile. ‘If my dad needs an…’ I searched for the word.

Easy step bathtub conversion,’ he called out.

‘An easy step bathtub conversion,’ I continued, ‘then isn’t it good that he’s saying something instead of getting all… proud?’

My wife’s glare flicked between us both. Finally, she pointed at my dad.

‘You’re paying for it.’

‘I’m broke,’ he shrugged.

‘Which is exactly why you would have chosen the cheapest option,’ she countered. ‘Because you knew I’d make you pay for it. And you,’ she turned on me.

I smiled weakly as she let out a deep sigh.

‘How was your day?’ she asked.