Village of the Jammed

Katrina has her mind set on ‘scaling up’, and it’s starting to make me uncomfortable. I mean, we’re a small jam business, not a Silicon Valley startup. It’s great that she’s taking financial growth seriously; I just don’t know if we’re equipped to bring in more people at this point. Where are going to put …

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I En-Treat You

Persuading people to invest in an idea is never easy. In fact, it’s one of the trickiest skills I’ve ever tried to master, which is possibly why I’ve spent so much time working on it. Now, people assume that it must come naturally to me, which is annoying. It’s just as hard for me as …

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Hospitals: Healthy?

Hospitals are such weird places. It’s like, they’re ostensibly about health and healthcare, and yet they’re deeply permeated with illness and injury. As soon as you set foot in one, you immediately feel your health points drop – unless, of course, you’re urgently in need of medical treatment that you can receive only in a …

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Anyone Out There?

You’d think responding to one email wouldn’t be so hard. I’ve sown my oats across everyone’s inbox, because I need people from different departments to do a bit of work in designing Casey’s birthday card and custom plant display. You’d think one of them would have responded by now, and you would have thought wrong, …

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Such Illogical Requests

I simply must organise the parking situation. It’s very important. Goodness, ever since I assumed direct control over this office by impersonating Sandrine, it’s been non-stop people-pleasing. Everyone wants something, and even the new and improved version of Sandrine I have crafted is finding it hard to keep up, especially when people want opposite things. …

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Human Budget Crisis

Human Classes are certainly getting crowded. It used to just be a cluster of wizards who never really talked to anyone else, an alien, an android and the occasional inter-dimensional monster of some variety, but now it’s just exploded. There’s that jolly nice fellow from Atlantis, the new time traveller who thinks he’s better than …

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Submarines, Roll Up!

If I was going to be a Trans-Morpher, android incognito, I’d be the submarine. When I was a kid and everyone at my school watched the show, we’d all come in the day after each episode and discuss it. My mates would be all like ‘did you see that fight on the highway with the …

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Faux Boho

I was a bit worried about grandma having a conniption about my new DIY haircut, given my mum’s response, but she was actually really complimentary about it. In fact, she was quite encouraging, saying that I should keep practising and even that she’d buy me some good scissors. She understands me in a way that …

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Choose Your Battles

What’s the go with school formals? Specifically, what’s the go with booking your teenage daughter in for professional hair and makeup? Stephanie is insistent that this has to happen, but my inclination is to say no. Won’t it just encourage her in her already excessive fascination with beauty products? All her friends are doing it, …

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