Plants: Our Children

Oh, I’m weird am I? Is it weird to want to take care of the environment at all costs? Well, you know, I don’t even care. I’m a proud eco-warrior, and if people find it slightly strange that I’ve sewn a special pouch into my slouch bag that means I can keep a pot plant …

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Grey No Longer

I like to wear colourful things, if only because for a very long time I was NOT allowed to wear colour. Mother and Father did not like me wearing black, since that was their official club colour and they didn’t want me running away with the idea that I was somehow part of their nightly …

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Gateway Gripes

I’m not sure about our front door. I don’t trust it for security, for starters – it’s so old that it looks like you could kick it in with ease. Actually, I think I could kick it in, and that’s saying something. I’m just waiting for the day that someone decides to try it. Then …

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Heat On Tourism

What’s with all the tourists going to Melbourne? Honestly, how are we supposed to keep up with this stuff on the tourist board of Australia if everyone keeps changing their mind about where they want to go? First it was Perth because everyone flocked to see the heating grid. Eventually, that went pear-shaped and now …

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I’m Not Sure

You know when people say ‘sure’, and they actually mean ‘oh gosh, please no, anything but that’? Yeah, that’s been going around a lot lately. People keep asking me for things, and I’m such a chronic people-pleaser that I simply can’t help but say yes. I don’t actually say yes, to be fair. I say …

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Engines of Change?

I can neither confirm nor deny the rumour that the our beloved club has been rummaging around scrapyards, buying derelict engines in the hopes that one of them might be the one to be installed in a rocket that will eventually take us to the moon. These are filthy lies… maybe. I can’t confirm or …

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Banish Your Stress

Bah, stress! I’m always stressed, and do you know how I deal with it? I don’t. It eats away at me night and day, having totally consumed my sanity long ago, hence why I might have tried to create a brain-control machine that would make all people named ‘Dylan’ do my bidding at the flick …

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Unleash the Lemurs

Lemurs. For real, lemurs. It’s time to face the facts that lemurs don’t belong in captivity; they should be running wild in their natural habitat. And that natural habitat…is an urban jungle. Man, just think about how cool that would be! We set them all free and they become the new magpies, just everywhere at …

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Surfing the Cycles

Winter is… not coming. I mean, it’s mid-Autumn and I’m still getting around in a tank top and board shorts. What’s up with that? I want to say it’s global warming, but deep down I know it’s actually the beach gods repaying me for my dedication to the waves over the years.   The downside, as …

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