Anyone Out There?

You’d think responding to one email wouldn’t be so hard. I’ve sown my oats across everyone’s inbox, because I need people from different departments to do a bit of work in designing Casey’s birthday card and custom plant display. You’d think one of them would have responded by now, and you would have thought wrong, …

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Such Illogical Requests

I simply must organise the parking situation. It’s very important. Goodness, ever since I assumed direct control over this office by impersonating Sandrine, it’s been non-stop people-pleasing. Everyone wants something, and even the new and improved version of Sandrine I have crafted is finding it hard to keep up, especially when people want opposite things. …

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Human Budget Crisis

Human Classes are certainly getting crowded. It used to just be a cluster of wizards who never really talked to anyone else, an alien, an android and the occasional inter-dimensional monster of some variety, but now it’s just exploded. There’s that jolly nice fellow from Atlantis, the new time traveller who thinks he’s better than …

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Submarines, Roll Up!

If I was going to be a Trans-Morpher, android incognito, I’d be the submarine. When I was a kid and everyone at my school watched the show, we’d all come in the day after each episode and discuss it. My mates would be all like ‘did you see that fight on the highway with the …

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Faux Boho

I was a bit worried about grandma having a conniption about my new DIY haircut, given my mum’s response, but she was actually really complimentary about it. In fact, she was quite encouraging, saying that I should keep practising and even that she’d buy me some good scissors. She understands me in a way that …

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Choose Your Battles

What’s the go with school formals? Specifically, what’s the go with booking your teenage daughter in for professional hair and makeup? Stephanie is insistent that this has to happen, but my inclination is to say no. Won’t it just encourage her in her already excessive fascination with beauty products? All her friends are doing it, …

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Plants: Our Children

Oh, I’m weird am I? Is it weird to want to take care of the environment at all costs? Well, you know, I don’t even care. I’m a proud eco-warrior, and if people find it slightly strange that I’ve sewn a special pouch into my slouch bag that means I can keep a pot plant …

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Grey No Longer

I like to wear colourful things, if only because for a very long time I was NOT allowed to wear colour. Mother and Father did not like me wearing black, since that was their official club colour and they didn’t want me running away with the idea that I was somehow part of their nightly …

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Gateway Gripes

I’m not sure about our front door. I don’t trust it for security, for starters – it’s so old that it looks like you could kick it in with ease. Actually, I think I could kick it in, and that’s saying something. I’m just waiting for the day that someone decides to try it. Then …

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Heat On Tourism

What’s with all the tourists going to Melbourne? Honestly, how are we supposed to keep up with this stuff on the tourist board of Australia if everyone keeps changing their mind about where they want to go? First it was Perth because everyone flocked to see the heating grid. Eventually, that went pear-shaped and now …

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